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Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships

One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their abilityto manipulate each other. Its insidious nature tilts oureveryday playing field toward the manipulator. Themanipulating person has a basic personality flaw that has adirect link to control, but primarily the ever-abundantinsecurity issue.

So, how is it that we deal with these types of people tolevel the perverbial playing field?

Well, for a moment, lets just consider the problematicissues that these types of people have so as to betterunderstand what approach to take.

In being manipulative, one would only need to look at thewhy and what, not the how, because the how is obvious. How do they do it? They use words as their arsenal forcontrol.

One should understand that manipulative people aregenerally control freaks who need to have the people theyattempt to control conform to their ideology. Byleveraging control over a particular situation, they satisfythe craving to fill that void of not having personal control,therefore obtaining it from another person.

It is quite obvious that always trying to tilt the scales foryourself by being manipulative reflects a security problem inyourself. It's simple! If you do not feel secure withyourself, than you are insecure. Ah...but to what degreeyou may ask, do you have to be so insecure that you alwaysattempt to obtain control and security elsewhere?

Insecurities are in us all. We all feel vulnerable at times inany given situation, but what would propel us to be soinsecure that we need to control others in our environment?

This question could be answered differently for almostevery manipulative person because what drives us tomanipulate might be extremely deep-seated in one, where inanother it is seated quite shallow.

Most people have heard in one place or another; you canonly control certain things in life, and much of the otherstuff you need to just let the chips fall where they may.

This is very true. Let's just look at one simple example toconceptualize. You have five one hundred dollar bills youhave alloted yourself to use in attempts to make moremoney, so you head for the closest casino.

Now, blackjack is your game of choice, so let me illustrateyour possible control. You could, when the dealer asks youto cut the cards, place the divider at the very end, thinkingthis will stack the hands in your favor. You could changetables because one dealer is what you would call bad luck. The fact is that once you put your money down, you losecontrol of the situation.

The dealer will deal you a winning or losing hand and yousimply have no control over the situation, yet you might tryto seize control by many illogical means in attempts to win.

By not attempting to control everyone else, you come to anunderstanding that letting people live their lives in peacewithout your controlling ways, is the healthiest way ingoing about your relationships.

Others will detect a distinct difference in your personalityand certainly appreciate you, rather than resent your ill will. This is, again, a change in approach and attitude towardsothers that will need to be worked on everyday. In addition,one should want and need to see progression everyday toconfirm the diminishing of this toxic characteristic.

Let go of your need to always control and manipulate, itwill definitely become a more harmonious existence, notonly for others, but for yourself.

by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com

Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality relationship advice for guys and women from a 'Logical' standpoint.

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