Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Relationships
Relationships Tips by experts
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Relationships Relationships Tips by experts |
|
|
|
|
Great Relationships: How to Create a Nag-Free Zone
Q: My wife and I have a good marriage that is being destroyed by nagging. I've tried to get her to stop and even begged her to stop. She won't stop, and it just makes me less willing to do the things she is nagging about. How can I get her to stop nagging? A: I think I can help you to create a "nag-free zone" in your home. I will tell you in advance, however, that you may not like what I suggest. But you do sound desperate enough to try it, and it has worked well over the years. I have rarely, if ever, seen a situation in which one member of a couple was nagging without the other member of the couple being irresponsible in some way. They just seem to go together. The situation is made worse when you try to tell her to stop. This is because it's rather like throwing gas on a fire and wondering why the fire did not go out since the gas was wet. Nagging hurts both people Whether it's a spouse or a parent, I've yet to meet the person who stays up late at night wondering "How many ways can I nag tomorrow? Let's make a list." It just doesn't happen. Believe it or not, nagging is no fun. Not for the "nagee," and not for the "nagger," either. So, if you are still reading and listening, here's what to do. First, you have to think in terms of breaking this cycle. As you so correctly identified, the more she nags, the less you do, and so she nags more, and you resist more. This creates a situation where a breakup is just matter of time. Second, you need to keep at the very front of your mind the notion that nagging comes from fear. This has been verified by every nagger I have ever known. The fear is usually something like fear of not getting important things done, fear of not being taken care of, fear of not being cared for and loved. So the next time you are feeling nagged, ask your self "What have I not taken care of?" Answer honestly, then step up and make a plan for fixing it. Next, and this is the most powerful thing you can do, ask your spouse, "What is scaring you right now?" Be sure to ask it kindly and gently and not with an irritated or accusatory tone. Then listen. Take care of the fears. Then keep behaving in ways that continue to take care of the fears. I hope you have the courage to try this at home. If you think about it, not only is this a strategy for creating a "nag-free zone," it's also a strategy for drawing the two of you closer. For more tips and tools for creating and living a great relationship, visit leading relationship coach Jeff Herring'sSecretsofGreatRelationships.com
MORE RESOURCES: See the complete list of Articles on Relationships here Have a look at Best Selling Books on Relationships
See also : Other articles on
Depression,
Grief Loss,
Happiness,
Humor,
Inspirational,
Motivation,
Why not be an expert yourself ? If you can write on
any of the above topic, you are welcome to submit your Submit
your article here |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen After Wife Gets MBA "Hesh, where is your business plan?" It was a question I expected from my banker, but not from my wife. She tried to sweeten it by adding, "honey?" It didn't help. Romance Matters You are never too old and it is never too late to romance that special someone whom you love. There are so many things to do and so many ways to do it. Can You Become A Better Friend After Taking A Friendship Quiz? Q. Does a friendship quiz really work?A. Relationhip Advice: How to Have Fun Together Work. Bills. What Went Wrong? When Relationships Go From Hot To Cold Everything was great.We had been dating for 6 months. What Is A Boundary In A Relationship? You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary, but I do not know what it means. Boundaries are often mentioned in terms of relationships. How To Make Hooking Up With Your Ex More Thrilling Than It Ever Was Before! Now I really have seen everything.The other day, I saw a television show with a very curious premise: They found a good-old Southern boy who was such a charmer, 6 of his ex-girlfriends (some, who had been flat-out "dumped" by him) were willing to line themselves up in front of a camera for 120 minutes, and go through various and sundry interviews, to see whether or not they could pass muster with him, the second time around. Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets? Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song, "Non, je ne regrette rien", remains an anthem in part because of the issues that so many of us have with regret. If the emotionally vulnerable Parisian sparrow could live free from regrets then maybe the rest us can also. American Women Really Don't Like You Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in the United States, has witness the wrath, jealously and prejudice of American women towards Asian ladies. I know I have, as have many of my friends. How a Three Letter Word Kills Good Relationships "You know, I really do love fish!" My friend Steve came up with this profound comment as we were about to tuck into the gastronomic offerings before us in a crowded downtown restaurant. I raised my eyebrows. A Recipe For Romance So, tonight's the night. You want to have a Romantic evening with your Lady. How to Find Relationship Advice One thing to keep in mind when seeking relationship advice is that the relationship advice business is exactly that - a business, and a big business at that. It is important to be aware that there is a lot of bad advice available in the marketplace, a lot of poorly trained relationship counselors around, and a lot of poorly conceived and badly written books on the subject. Intent Over the past few months, things in my life have been better than ever. New home, new friends, and wonderful career. Whats The Attraction? Why do people have affairs? Why not do the 'right' thing and leave a marriage first if one is inclined to step out of it? The reasons are as varied as the people involved. Public perception of infidelity is someone with a sexual overdrive and their pants around their ankles, and while that may be true in some cases, it's not as common a reason as one would think. Relationship Red Flags Do Appear Early On So often in the bloom of a new romance we set aside a few "minor" character flaws to let the relationship continue, where sometimes we really should just end it early, and cut our losses. I'll make a list of a few of the ones that often come up. Passions Search for Destiny She was haunted by a man whom she had never met. He came to her in her dreams. Unprofessional Conduct Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 14, 2004I am sitting here so unsure of what to do anymore. I've never asked anyone for help of this type, as many people come to me for answers. Affairs: What an Affair Really Is and What an Affair Really Does We hear about it all the time - in magazines, on TV and among our friends:Someone else has had an affair and a marriage is falling apart.Our culture teaches that an affair is just something that happens in relationships, it's really not big deal. 7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my clients state that, "If I have to work at it, then it's not the right relationship. 10 Reasons Why Married Couples Grow Apart (Part II) This is a continuation of part one of this article which covered aspects such as communication, paying attention, affection and staying connected. We will continue to explore some of the underlying reasons why many married couples seem to be drifting apart and offer suggestions how to prevent or minimize these pitfalls.
|
|
You are here |
|
| Relationship Tips Home | Relationship Tips - Complete list | |
|
| Main Home | | Meditation Corner | |
|
|
| Recommend us | |
|
[About
us] [Contact] [Privacy
Policy]
Copyright 2006, Meditation
is Easy.com, All
rights reserved
