Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Inspirational
Inspirational Tips by experts
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Inspirational Inspirational Tips by experts |
|
|
|
|
Mitigating Factors
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 30, 2002 I am writing for advice on a personal dilemma of the most personal nature. I am male, mid-40s, married 20 years. After all these years, I still long to make love to my wife two or three times per week, while she seems to prefer two or three times per year, if ever. Best I can tell, she no longer enjoys making love whatsoever and hasn't for the last 10 years. While all this seems dismal, the problem I am seeking advice on is more a moral issue. First, let me make sure you know that I have been faithful to my wife since the day I met her. I would never consider sex outside my marriage vows. That goes against every moral fiber of my being. Additionally, pornographic materials and gentlemen's clubs go against my beliefs and would only make matters worse. I will say after all these years I do understand why some men succumb to weakness and fall prey to sex outside their marriage. Please do not tell me to have a meaningful conversation with my wife. I tried that and failed miserably. In February 2000, after years of trying to get through to her, I felt I couldn't take it anymore. I told her I long for the intimacy only a married couple can share. She offered no reason, except she is always tired and has too much on her plate. While I acknowledge that she shoulders plenty of responsibility with work and home, she can find the time to walk the dogs or work herself to the bone on something that can wait until tomorrow. I pleaded with her to get whatever physical, medical, emotional or psychological help she might need to get our marriage back on track. I offered to attend any sessions she felt comfortable with me participating in. I offered to do anything in our lovemaking that would make it more enjoyable for her. I told her I would not pressure her into making love, but would wait for her to let me know when she was ready. For four weeks things improved as we made love three times. However, she never sought outside help and began to fall into her old comfortable habits. Over the next 17 months we made love only another six times with most coming at my insistence. I finally gave up keeping track and gave up on her caring enough to change. Short of divorce, how do I relieve my sexual tension without compromising my beliefs and myself? Marshall Marshall, rules make sense in context. One rule most people believe in is "Thou shalt not kill." However, if you must kill a man to defend your wife and children, most people would say you haven't violated the rule. If a robber breaks into your home, collects your valuables and asks if you have anymore money, most people would say it is okay to lie. Why? Because rules only make sense in context. Otherwise the person with the lower standard always gets to win. From society's point of view, marriage is the best possible context for sexuality to be expressed. Marriage attaches sex to love and a caring, committed relationship, and two people are present to raise the children. You don't believe in divorce, yet you have contemplated adultery. Why? Because something which belongs in your marriage is not there. "Keep thee only unto him" absolutely means don't cheat, but it does not mean "Don't let him have it either." Your wife will not honestly tell you what is on her mind, and you have suggested every possible solution. As a result, you are estranged from the person you should be most closely bonded to. It is time to apply your ideas about marriage and divorce to your current specific situation and decide what is right. Rules only make sense in context. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
MORE RESOURCES: See the complete list of Articles on Inspiration here Have a look at Best Selling Books on Inspiration
See also : Other articles on
Depression,
Grief-loss,
Elder Care
Relationships
Latest info on : Inspiration
emPOWERMENT - An Inspirational E-Book Available On Kinnishbancroft.com - BigNews.biz (press release)
Google News
Why not be an expert yourself ? If you can write on
any of the above topic, you are welcome to submit your Submit
your article here |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
You Can Quickly And Easily Solve Your Problems Today I just wanted to write you a quick note to encourage you. Why? Because even as you are doing your best to be motivated there will be days when it all seems too much. All Is Going Well? The true test in life does not occur when all is going well. The true test takes place when we are faced with challenges. Lock In Your Legacy You, my friend, are going to die.What? What kind of motivational tool is that? Real inspiring!In fact, it is. Put To The Sword Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 23, 2002My girlfriend has an aggressive sense of humor. She teases and likes to parry put-downs. A Cat In The Hand Is Worth Two Birds In The Bush! I bought this computer just over two years ago with my first venture into the world of credit cards. I'm a mature woman and have seen and done a lot in this world, but nothing could have prepared me for this. Listening to Your Inner Voice May Save Your Life "I was washing my breakfast dishes one morning when it occurred to me to go visit a friend who lived several miles away. I did my work and started to dress for my journey, when there came over me such a feeling of depression, or despondency, or gloom, that I could not understand. The Tiniest of Gladiators I stared into those biggest of navy blue eyes and felt the power ofhis fighting spirit, despite the pain and week long raging fever. Mostof the time my heart was in my throat and my mind was awash withcounter-productive thoughts like, "why him?" and "this isn't fair!"This wasn't helping him to be sure (my daughter was much strongerthan I), but in spite, he not only survived the arduous ordeal, but heemerged the victor!I am talking about my infant grandson, Corbin Nicolas, clobberedwith a serious infection of the lymph glands. The Bouncer (Turning Defeat into Victory) I'm a pretty competitive guy, though I try to keep it in perspective. But there are times, often when I least expect it, when life teaches me lessons about the true nature of competition. To Raise Your Frequency, Just Turn on the Joy! The feeling response to being filled up with Love from your Spirit is joy. Higher frequency energy-Love-activates a joy response in your emotional body. A Lesson From A Hum Of A Bamboo Clump Have you heard a nature hymn? For example, a whir of ting-a-ling-a-ling sound yielded by bamboo leaves when wind blows to its clump? If you have an opportunity to visit a bamboo garden, try to listen to its hymn. The trees of a bamboo clump will sing along with the wind. A Life Touched Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 17, 2003Back when I was in grammar school, every once and awhile I would meet up with a girl my age and talk. Lisa never was around much, but she was always very sweet and nice. Go Between Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 16, 2003I enjoy reading your column every week. I want to tell you about a family problem I am having at present. Everyone Has Been Hurt ....Part 6 Continued.. Spirits Language: How to Tell Whos Who in Your Inner Conversations Your Spirit is continuously beaming communications to you. As long as your mind is properly receptive to your Spirit, this vital communication is received. Adversity, What Is It Good For? As I sat down to write this article, I was reflecting back over the last week - a week filled with adversity. We all go through it and it is during those times that we may often wonder what is it all for anyway? What is the point? What is it good for?I decided to look up the word, adversity, from my old American Heritage Dictionary. I Believe in You! Ally Becker came home from school after Varsity basketball practice and was extremely gleeful. She looked frantically for her Father and walked into the kitchen, the laundry room and finally the living room. Who are you? I have a question for you.Who are you?This may be a simply enough question but before you attempt to answer this question let us go on a voyage of personal self discovery which will allow you to find an acceptable answer. A Resurrection Story My mother often wound up in the hospital during the last decade of her life. She had good health insurance and a good many ailments, and she generally outstayed two or three hospital roommates. Product Testing Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 24, 2002I suppose there are worse problems than having two men who want to share their life with me. However, it is a genuine problem. Loving You The difficulty in finding love that is good for you stems from the same difficulty you have loving yourself. For those who believe in God or a higher power, to not love yourself is to not love the very source of your existence.
|
|
You are here |
|
| Inspirational Tips Home | Inspirational Tips - Complete list | |
|
| Main Home | | Meditation Corner | |
|
|
| Recommend us | |
|
[About
us] [Contact] [Privacy
Policy]
Copyright 2006, Meditation
is Easy.com, All
rights reserved
