Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Humor
Humor Tips by experts
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Humor Humor Tips by experts |
|
|
|
|
Slip-sliding On A Peel
Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. Depending on my mood or the availability, these smoothies may also contain mango, papaya, pineapple, coconut or whatever other fresh fruit comes our way plus ice, water and the blender. Maybe also yoghurt or wheat germ. However, banana is the usual and requisite smoothie base. One day, after being out of bananas for an unreasonable amount of time (say 2 or 3 days), I journeyed to town for the morning farmer's market. I went to my regular produce lady, Latina. "Morning darling," she greeted me as usual, "How's your woman?" "Almost as sweet and beautiful as you," I reply, earning a kiss and a smile. I picked out the various fruits and veggies that either caught my attention or she told me to buy. ("She'd be buying this if she were here, ya know") "Bananas?" I ask. "Nope. No bananas," she deadpans. "Who has bananas then?" I ask, hoping that she will point me to her favorite competitor. "No bananas anywhere." She is adamant. "None?" I am incredulous, "They are the main crop of this island. How can there be no bananas? There are always bananas." "T'ain't none nowhere now," she affirms. "Are you trying to tell me there are no bananas on an island that survives on its banana exports?" "Yes, we have no bananas," she says with a wicked smile. 'Harry, please save me', I think; 'this cannot be true; a mellow yellow flashback?' 'Come Mr. Tally man, tally me bananas; me tired and me want to go home' he echoes, answering from almost 40 years ago. I go home, sans banana, stunned, dazed and confused. Two days later, a neighbor shows up with 200 bananas. "I hear you want some," he says. A few days later, we are having two smoothies a day and giving away banana bread to all our neighbors; a million fruit flies hover in my kitchen and, in my dreams, there is this recurring vision of Carmen Miranda. I am a cultural refugee, caught in a forgotten Calypso tape loop or a cosmic slapstick joke. © Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide. Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com Reprinting and republishing of these articles is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.
MORE RESOURCES: See the complete list of Articles on Humor here Have a look at Best Selling Books on Humor
See also : Other articles on
Depression,
Grief-loss,
Elder Care
Relationships Latest info on : Humour
Humor - Google News
Why not be an expert yourself ? If you can write on
any of the above topic, you are welcome to submit your Submit
your article here |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Worlds First Comedian? If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must be sincerely old. That's because he appeared around 400 B. Slip-sliding On A Peel Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. [Not So] Outgoing Mail I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theory, but today I tried talking to it and it didn't even respond. A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools, and my requests, I had been appointed to teach to a sixth-grade class. At least, I almost worked in my backyard. How I Spent my Summer Vacation One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world. The Work-from-home Fashion Primer Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had chosen careers as hermits:http://www.thehappyguy. Got Originality? There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of these ways because the followers would then not be original, would they? Now, I realize that somewhere between one to two people would have followed the advice I gave, but just in case my calculations were off - and it turns out three would have followed - I need to be careful about what I write ?One slogan which completely frustrates me due to its lack of originality is "got ____?" That's right - that lowercase phrase which was formerly synonymous with milk (and is now synonymous with everything) is so cliché that it's even cliché to write "got cliché?" But the worst is not behind us. Beyond Black and White Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a cup of coffee?" he asks. "I just roasted the latest batch. Do Americans Really Understand Irony? Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there I have admitted it. But let me go on to make myself slightly more unpopular by suggesting that our American society does present us with a range of valuable and positive aspects. Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians "Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer. Bad Days and Bad Timing Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most inappropriate moments? Well, let me tell you, it's not just the little ones that spout off with remarks that make you want to don a cloak of invisibility.My son was just having one of those days. Stopping Bad Breath Bart "Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week."OK, so I can be a little candid every now and then. Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. Bed Bugs Bite I just turned on the news a minute ago and wondered why there weren't news flashes regarding when -- and perhaps where -- people are turning on the news. Sometimes it is a slow news week, and there's not much to read in Newsweek, so maybe this could take up some space. Not Your Average Sunday Morning Just recently my ex-husband stopped in to visit during his vacation. In the course of small talk, a few old memories usually crop up in the conversation. Humans are like Monkeys Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in their abilities to reason. Why is this? We mimic, copy, imitate that which we see. Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and calls this place home. His travels have taken him far and wide, but it's his hometown surroundings that serve as a backdrop for his writing. I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes after midnight on April 2nd, and the events of the prior day in my home were quite interesting to say the least. Mexican Spaminator When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my mind was that I would get a new Internet Service Provider and finally get off the 300,000,000 Spam lists that I was on. I thought for sure I would go insane if I received one more "How to Enlarge Your Manhood" piece of Spam-as if I needed to do that anyway (yeah right). The Zapp Principle My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was always a mess. This time it was a lightly charred mess, covered with extinguisher gloop.
|
|
You are here |
|
| Humour Tips Home | Humour Tips - Complete list | |
|
| Main Home | | Meditation Corner | |
|
|
| Recommend us | |
|
[About
us] [Contact] [Privacy
Policy]
Copyright 2006, Meditation
is Easy.com, All
rights reserved
