Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Grief Loss
Grief loss Tips by experts
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Grief Loss Grief loss Tips by experts |
|
|
|
|
When Sorrow Is Too Great to Be Borne Alone, Support Groups Reach Out
Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and I decided to attend a support group program run by the local Hospice organization. We felt lost, afraid, and alone, and we desperately needed to understand the emotional roller coaster we were on. So the night of the first support meeting, we drove 30 miles to the church where the meeting was held. The room we walked into had a single row of fold-up chairs arranged in a circle, refreshments on a table, and a friendly woman welcomed us. We had arrived early; all of the seats were empty. After I glanced at my husband, to make sure he had not turned around and walked out, we sat down quietly on the seats closest to us and to the door. Shortly after we arrived, a few other people wandered in and took seats also. We nodded at them nervously, wondering if their stories were like ours, wondering if they had nightmares as bad as we did. And then, the meeting began. The facilitator spoke. She welcomed us all, stated that everyone in the room had lost a loved one, and asked us to introduce ourselves. One by one, the people present stated their names and briefly told us about why they were there. Some of them shed tears as they talked. As each one spoke, my mind was trying to take in a situation outside of my experience. How could this be? We thought we were the only ones in the world who were grieving. We were not alone, after all! For the next couple hours, we talked - and listened. We discovered that some of our feelings matched the feelings of others there. Perhaps we were not abnormal, after all! Best of all, though, when we said Arlyn's name, and when we said the word suicide, no one blinked an eye! No one got up and walked out, no one replied by saying, Get over it! She's gone! And no one even hinted that it was our fault. During the meeting, some of us cried. No one tried to stop us. During the meeting, some of us talked about funerals, and no one squirmed. It was amazing. We were the only ones in the group who had come because of the death of a daughter, and we were the only ones mourning a suicide death, but even then, the connection we felt with others was strong. We were not alone. By the time we left the meeting, I felt emotionally drained, but that was exactly what I had needed. A safe place to talk, to vent, to connect. A place where I could find someone to walk with me. That's what a support group is: a safe place. It may be an AA group for those who struggle with alcohol, an abuse group for those who have been victimized by abusers, a group for people addicted to gambling, or a grief group for those who are trying to survive the loss of a loved one by death. It's a place to go to so you can connect with others who have almost walked in your shoes. Some support groups are run by professionals. They generally have a program to follow, materials to take home with information, and they are led by people with college degrees. They sometimes encourage people to set goals, and they sometimes offer therapy. Other support groups are lead by those who have no official certification, but whose experience may teach them more about the common issue than anything they could read about in books. I have participated in both types of support groups, and I find value in both. They meet different needs in different ways. I personally think the value of peer-lead support groups are greatly undervalued, however. When people sit in a circle and share their stories and hearts with others who will not pass judgement on them, others who truly do know how they feel, a huge burden is often lifted from their shoulders. Lifting that emotional burden seems to be the key to survival, the key to living life again - as opposed to being pulled down into deep depression and not finding the strength to come back up. The best thing about peer lead support groups is that they are free! The worst thing about them is that there are not enough of them around. Quote of the day: When it seems that our sorrow is too great to be borne, let us think of the great family of the heavy-hearted into which our grief has given us entrance, and inevitably, we will feel about us their arms, their sympathy, their understanding. - Helen Keller By Karyl Chastain Beal Mission in life before Arlyn's death was teaching children. Now, it's teaching those left behind after suicide to survive and live again. It's also educating the public about suicide and suicide grief. Beal is a certified thanatologist via the Association on Death Education and Counseling. Owner if several websites devoted to suicide support and education. Has published writings in Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul, the Journal for the National Alliance on Mentally Ill, Seventeen Magazine and various newspapers. Arlyn's memorial website - http://virtual-memorials.com/servlet/ViewMemorials?memid=7461&pageno=1 Parents of Suicides - http://parentsofsuicide.com Grieving Parents - http://grieving-parents.com
MORE RESOURCES: See the complete list of Articles on Grief-loss here Have a look at Best Selling Books on Grief-loss
See also : Other articles on
Depression,
Happiness,
Humor,
Inspirational,
Motivation,
Grief-Loss - Google News
Why not be an expert yourself ? If you can write on
any of the above topic, you are welcome to submit your Submit
your article here |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Made in Heaven Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my Mother. Dealing With Grief and Loss - How to Mend a Broken Heart What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts. Beyond A Mothers Nightmare To Radical Forgiveness It was a moment I will never forget.On February 22, 2003, I was visiting with my son Brian Michael (http://www. Dying On the Inside: A Childs Grief The impatient tooting of a car horn startled us into awareness. No one had thought beyond making it through the grievous night. If Ever It Is Me With my father, his brother and their father having had late onset Alzheimer's I can't help but wonder if someday it will be my fate. This is what I have told my family. Terminal Illness- Death and Grief No one likes to think about illness and death, when we are well, we feel invincible and there is nothing that can prepare us for the shock and devastation of a terminal diagnosis. The knowledge that we can no longer take our lives or the lives we share with our loved ones for granted takes away our ability to plan for the future and removes hope from our lives. In the Blink of an Eye Today's Quote: "My house is burned down, but I can see the sky." Sally Reed, cancer survivorThirty five years ago this weekend, my father died. An Unexpected Letter It was a couple of weeks after Christmas, and I was standing by my mailbox in the vestibule of the apartment building where I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, holding a letter I had just received. The handwriting was not familiar and neither was the return address, although it was postmarked Seattle, Washington, the same place where Hannah Paulson used to live. How to Deal with Suffering Reflect upon the following questions, and answer those you feel might be most important for thosewho are most concerned about this topic.QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW TO COPE WITH SUFFERING1- If there is a loving God, why do so many Christians and good people have to suffer so much whereas others don't? What about natural disasters?2- In suffering, why are some people so sensitive, and others not, over the same event? Give examples. How My Four Your Old Son Reacted To The Death Of His Great Nanny Biscuits My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age of eighty eight. Unfortunately she died in hospital and this article describes how my son reacted to the news of her death. How to Turn Grief into Joy I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body. Trial by Fire - 9 Tips for Grieving Couples You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples together, but it can actually do just the opposite. It is possible to emerge on the other side of grief with a closer marriage, but it does take work. How to Deal With A Death in the Family and Still Run Your Small Business As a small business owner we have to deal with tax law changes, local ordinances, environmental laws, Worker's Compensation, etc. Just when we thought we had everything under control, something terrible happenes. Death of a Parent: Saying Good-Bye to Mommy or Daddy Coping with the death of a loved one is never easy, regardless of how old you are when that loss occurs. For children who lose a parent, however, the effects can be devastating, indeed, and a plan will need to be put in place so that they can learn to accept this part of the life cycle and move on in a healthy, balanced manner. Death Poem During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to happen. Grief Support: The Dos Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to best help those in grief.1) Do give grievers the permission to grieve. Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so horrible that you would prefer to hide in a dark closet for the rest of your life than have someone find out you did it? Have you ever done something so bad that even remembering what you did causes you to hyperventilate and shake?I have. We are the Reflection of our Lives: How to Survive Loss & Humility Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face staring back at me. Sometimes it is lined with stress, sorrow and grief. Graceful Grief: Angelic Help is on the Way! I believe that major change and loss in our lives is a door to grow ourselves, to become more loving, compassionate and accepting towards others and ourselves. We have choices that determine what the journey will look like. Handicapped From Suicide I am 23 years old. I come from a large family.
|
|
You are here |
|
| Grief Loss Tips Home | Grief Loss Tips - Complete list | |
|
| Main Home | | Meditation Corner | |
|
|
| Recommend us | |
|
[About
us] [Contact] [Privacy
Policy]
Copyright 2006, Meditation
is Easy.com, All
rights reserved
