Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Grief Loss
Grief loss Tips by experts
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
Tips for Stress free life > Expert Zone > Grief Loss Grief loss Tips by experts |
|
|
|
|
Dads, Life, and Death
When he looked at me, it was clear my father wasn't sure who I was. And as I looked back at him, I wasn't sure who he was, either. My father had just endured two heart surgeries and 6 days in intensive care. He'd returned to the hospital where he'd worked for 40 years. It was the hospital where all his children had been born. And as he sat in his bed gazing at me, I knew he might never be the same. The doctors said that he may have a long period of confusion after the surgeries. And because he's eighty-six, it may be many months before he returns to normal. It's also possible he may never be "normal" again. The roller coaster of feelings we've had the past week have settled a bit. Now, we simply wait. We wait to see if the memory comes back and the confusion fades. We hope that he regains what he once had, as we realize who he was may be "gone." It's a realization that feels a lot like death. To spend two days wondering if your father will live or die brings you many things. It allows you to appreciate every moment of life. It fills you with memories, and it fills you with pain. It reminds you of something that can easily be forgotten as you run around in your busy life: life is incredibly fragile, and can be taken away in an instant. I sat there in this hospital room, spoon-feeding the man I've seen as powerful and capable my entire life. It felt like the full circle of life had come around us. It was both satisfying and frightening. It felt good to support him, yet part of me wanted to tell him to "be normal" again. I wasn't sure if I was ready to accept the full meaning of it: that my father may never be that powerful and capable person again. My mother has been married to my father for sixty years. During the darkest time before the second surgery, she said, "You have sixty years with someone, but you just want more." Pain and suffering have visited my family, as it will visit all families. And while we hesitate to face pain and suffering, it has great lessons to teach us. Pain and suffering are well outside of the boundaries of our everyday life. When it comes, it shatters these boundaries and turns our world upside down. We become a family with all of the others who have known pain and suffering. And we have another chance to prioritize what's truly important in our lives. This crisis will pass, and we'll all be changed by it. The healing hands of time will do their work. I'm thankful that I've told my father everything I've wanted to say to him. And I'm thankful to have my family to lean on during this difficult time. We'll all be challenged by this to show more support, care, and love. This is as it should be. Sometimes, it takes a crisis to remind us of why we're all here. Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents byphone to balance their life and improve their familyrelationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at mark@markbrandenburg.com.
MORE RESOURCES: See the complete list of Articles on Grief-loss here Have a look at Best Selling Books on Grief-loss
See also : Other articles on
Depression,
Happiness,
Humor,
Inspirational,
Motivation,
Grief-Loss - Google News
Why not be an expert yourself ? If you can write on
any of the above topic, you are welcome to submit your Submit
your article here |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Deal with Suffering Reflect upon the following questions, and answer those you feel might be most important for thosewho are most concerned about this topic.QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW TO COPE WITH SUFFERING1- If there is a loving God, why do so many Christians and good people have to suffer so much whereas others don't? What about natural disasters?2- In suffering, why are some people so sensitive, and others not, over the same event? Give examples. How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who have received a terminal diagnosis and for those who love and care for them. Good Grief! If tears are an indication of how special my relationship with my mother was, I cry with pride! I've come to see grief as pain with a purpose. Interestingly enough, as I cared for my mother in my home the last several weeks of her life, much of what I had learned through spiritual teachings about death had gone out the window. Is Death Really the End or the Window to A New Beginning? Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She has been given less than six months to live as the cancer has fully permeated her liver and pancreas. What is an Appropriate Sympathy Gift? When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is hard to know what to say or how to show your support. When you want to provide comfort and support and show your concern for a family member, a friend, or an associate, a personalized gift is always an ideal choice. You Have to Show Up: On Small Miracles (Okay, maybe not so small) I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's funeral.That sounds terrible, I know. After Suicide: Returning to Life, Thanks to an Owl Have you ever lost the ability to laugh? I did.When Arlyn died, I knew I would never laugh again. Cultivate a Friendship with Death Why We Fear Death"Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark." - BaconThere may be a thousand reasons why we fear death, but most of all we fear death because we fear the unknown, and death is an unknown entity to most people. When Sorrow Is Too Great to Be Borne Alone, Support Groups Reach Out Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and I decided to attend a support group program run by the local Hospice organization. We felt lost, afraid, and alone, and we desperately needed to understand the emotional roller coaster we were on. Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so horrible that you would prefer to hide in a dark closet for the rest of your life than have someone find out you did it? Have you ever done something so bad that even remembering what you did causes you to hyperventilate and shake?I have. Suicide Survivor Suicide is a nightmare for survivors of loved ones. Death in itself is hard to cope with but when someone you love intentionally takes their life, this pain is somehow multiplied many times over. Afraid Of Dying? Afraid Of Living! Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns of death and dying. It wasn't that they had any maladies that would cause them to die any time soon, but they were "afraid of their own immortality. How To Heal Your Heart We all experience severe heart break at some time in our lives. For many it happens in childhood or adolescence, the time when we are most vulnerable. Learning to Live Again Overcoming death and beginning once again to live is the one thing that we never anticipate can happen after we have experienced death. The truth is however, that whether we like it or not life continues on. You Can Help A Grieving Heart Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and if cherry cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange. We can recommend preschools and sneakers. Men and Grief Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it. Miracles? If we were to organize a list of the thorniest problems for the bereaved, certainly somewhere near the top would be the question of miracles. Everybody has heard anecdotal stories of certain people who have suffered incredible, life-threatening injuries or illness, but who have somehow recovered against all odds. Dealing With Tragedies (The 9/11 Tragedy) September 11, 2001, marked yet another significant turning point in world history. Whatever innocence was left in the world was lost on that fateful day. We are the Reflection of our Lives: How to Survive Loss & Humility Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face staring back at me. Sometimes it is lined with stress, sorrow and grief. Am I a Mother - Tips for Handling Mother's Day After Miscarriage Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S.
|
|
You are here |
|
| Grief Loss Tips Home | Grief Loss Tips - Complete list | |
|
| Main Home | | Meditation Corner | |
|
|
| Recommend us | |
|
[About
us] [Contact] [Privacy
Policy]
Copyright 2006, Meditation
is Easy.com, All
rights reserved
