How Acts of Kindness Can Help You Grieve

An act of kindness

Grief is an intensely personal experience, with each of us having to find our own way to get through the worst days. There are, of course, methods recommended to help us. For some, formal counselling can provide us with a valuable sounding board and an expert to provide coping mechanisms. For others there’s comfort to be found in our families. However, one strategy that is too often overlooked is kindness. 

Kindness, applied in a variety of ways, can not only be of comfort to others — it can act as a salve for our own pain. But it can be difficult to know quite where to apply kindness, particularly at a time when we’re suffering. We’re going to take a look at a few key areas in which to place your energy, along with some suggested activities. 

Funeral Arrangements

Funerals can often be an overwhelming prospect. Many of us have little expertise in their arrangement, not to mention the fact that they tend to be costly affairs. At a time when grief is still fresh, being expected to enter into administrative activities can quickly become stressful and confusing for the immediate family of the deceased. This is also an area in which practical acts of kindness can help provide the family with space to experience their own grief, and help your own by directing your energies in a positive way.  .   

If you have financial expertise, or a head for numbers, assisting with planning for funeral costs can be valuable. While the key decisions — such as the choices between burial and cremation — are deeply personal and should be the choice of the immediate family, you can help research and outline cost effective strategies which also apply their wishes. If the budget is particularly tight, it may be prudent to gently introduce them to the idea of direct burial or cremation, which foregoes viewings but can significantly reduce the costs involved.

When offering to lend a hand with funeral arrangements, it’s important to understand that this ritual has an important role to play in the immediate family’s grieving process. The efforts they put into arranging a fitting tribute can help reflect the place their loved one held in their lives. Therefore, it’s wise and respectful to tread lightly. Don’t assume to take over aspects of arrangements. Approach in a manner that makes it clear you would like to help them achieve their goals for the funeral, and how you might be able to do this; but also allow them the space to refuse this if they feel it might be intrusive.

Memorialisation through Kindness

Kindness

Random acts of kindness are something of a buzz phrase of late, but they can have an important role to play in grief. These acts embody the meaning you attribute to them, and by connecting these acts to your memory of the deceased, you can undertake them in a way that would have also been meaningful to them.

Some approaches can include:

  • Paying it forward. Buying coffee for the next person in the queue at the deceased’s favourite coffee establishment.
  • Conservation. Spend a couple of hours alone or in a group cleaning their favorite stretch of beach or green area.
  • Creativity. Create a music playlist to share among friends with their favorite music, or create a photo album with pictures of their favorite images and memories.
  • Gifting. Take a moment to source a meaningful gift for a close friend of your loved one. It doesn’t necessarily have to be for an occasion such as a birthday or anniversary; but make it relevant to the relationship they shared. Personalized gifts can help memorialize their friendship with fondness and even humor. 
  • Donations. Perhaps to memorialize a child or parent, during the holidays make toy and clothing donations to children’s charities.
  • Helping those in need. Volunteer your time every so often to causes that were close to them, offer a helping hand to a stranger at the store in the way that you know your loved one would appreciate.
  • Community engagement. Tie your random acts of kindness to the interests of the deceased. If they enjoyed gardening, spend some time working at a community garden or mowing the lawn of a neighbor. If they were a sports fan, offer a couple of hours per week to help coach a local kids sports team. If they were a baker, bake some cookies for your office.

Increasingly, random acts undertaken in memorial of a loved one have been accompanied by a card. These cards often provide a little bit of information about who the deceased was, what kind of person they were, and why this random act would be important to them. This can help to solidify the idea for both yourself and the recipient that these acts have a deeper meaning than simple generosity, and can open up conversations that can also help you through the grieving process. 

Being Kind to Yourself

Finally, it’s important to acknowledge that kindness at a time of grief shouldn’t always be outward-looking. Too often, when we are applying acts of generosity and assistance we are entirely focused on how these can be applied to others. While this can be an honorable trait, by neglecting to also devote time for kindness to ourselves, we are deprived of important space to grieve and the opportunity to heal.

A regular focus on self-care is a key act of personal kindness that can help you through the grieving process. A couple of times each day, be sure to exercise mindfulness; take a quiet moment to check in with yourself, to honestly examine how you are coping, how your body and mind are feeling. Use this time to remind yourself that you are not expected to be superhuman, immune to the effects of the death of a loved one; exercise self-compassion.

Conclusion

Kindness cannot heal all wounds, and it can never cure the pain we feel at the loss of someone we were close to. However, it can provide a positive focus through which to remember the influence they had upon our lives and the lives of those around them. Whether this is in the immediate aftermath of the death, as frequent random acts, or simply taking time for ourselves, kindness can help us more effectively experience grief, and use it to do some good in the world.

Meditation still is my torch

Meditation has been my guiding force

It has been a long time, well almost more than a year,since I wrote anything on this blog. It was never intentional. But I was so englufed in my life responsibilities that I could not find time for writing.

Though, a feeling of guilt is there inside me to know that I have not contributed even a single article here during the past 14 months.

Neverthless, it does not mean that I have left meditation also. Even in the most excruciating moments of my life where everything so fake and useless, meditation has been my torch.

It has given me peace and strength to carry on. During these tiring times, my belief has only become more strong that meditation is all the more necessary to remain calm and sane in a turbulant world.

I shall be more regular now.

Be peace unto all of you.

The Meaning of Life : A Must Read

The Meaning of Life...Read on
The Meaning of Life…Read on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The life is full of ups and down. Moreover, often we observe that the life is not equal. Everybody has his fair share of sorrows- his own cross to bear. The happiness comes and go. Te sadness comes and go. And the life moves on. Often in this endless cycle of joy and gloom, most of us ask this Question :

What is this all about? What is the meaning of life?

I know a lots of you must have encountered this question at some point in your life. Recently, I came across a wonderful story in which the author has tried to give answer to his question from an entirely different perspective. I would like you to read this story as it may radically change the way you look at this world.  The story follows now:- Continue reading “The Meaning of Life : A Must Read”

Hercolubus Or Red Planet – Free Book

This is a guest post by Cristhiano of Alcione Association

Everybody knows that it is possible for us to develop intellectual or artistic skills. In the same way, any human being who carries out a work upon themselves can develop spiritual abilities unknown to common people. There are many latent faculties within us and those, if properly developed, can allow us to look into other dimensions of nature beyond the limited world of our mind and our senses.

Red Planet Hercolubus

V.M. Rabolu, the author of the book “Hercolubus or Red Planet”, was one of those people who developed great capabilities to research in the superior dimensions of nature. His book is the result of such research and therefore any person can verify by themselves that the statements in that work will be accurately fulfilled throughout time.

In this small book he explains, with amazing clarity, several important current issues: from the controversial nuclear tests in the ocean and their dreadful future consequences, to the much-discussed question of the existence of conscious beings in other planets of the universe.

In the same way he informs us, with a direct and revealing language, about the existence of a huge heavenly body, six times bigger than Jupiter, called Hercolubus or Red Planet that is approaching Earth in a silent but alarming way. Further, we are told not only about the consequences that such heavenly body will bring to us, but also about the true origin of climate change and the great geological activity that is taking place deep down on the sea bottom.

The book guides us through practice because believing or not believing what others explain are just the two sides of the same coin: ignorance. Thus, the book shows us the techniques to achieve conscious astral projection and the system to eliminate our vices, defects and evil, which are the main causes of all human sufferings. Through the practice of these techniques we can improve our spiritual level by transforming ourselves. Also, we can look into superior dimensions of nature and find out about the forthcoming events, while our physical body is resting at night.

Due the importance of that message, The Alcione Association is sending by mail free printed copies of the book “Hercolubus or Red Planet” to any place worldwide. You can request your free copy at any of our websites:

www.alcioneassociation.com

www.giantredplanet.com

 

Namaskar ! Its existence

Hello my dear friends,

After a very long gap, I have come back again to my favorite website. Indeed for me it is a second home. I feel so comfortable when I come and write some stuff here.

So where I was all these days ?

Well I was right here in India. Just involved and busy in my life. Doing some works which are not particularly related to meditation but has some close connection with my personal life.

Once I read some where that when you find yourself surrounded with situations which are beyond your control, those unavoidable situations where you just can’t do much – in all such situation make a realization that – Oh this is existence !!

This is existence who just came and disturb me.

This is existence who is crying, laughing and shouting at me.

This is existence who just pulled a big horn and made such a big noise.

This is existence who just compelled me to go to the market and buy some vegetable when I was expecting to mediate and contemplate on life.

In Hindi we called it ‘Astitava’ – the existence.

You need to embrace it with all its facets. A big yes to life means a big yes to existence.

You can’t fight with a storm. You’ll have to learn to play with that storm so that you can ride over it.

Make this existence your friend- not enemy. And you’ll be at peace.

May God bless you all !

Life Lessons from Steve Jobs

Life is small and we all shall die one day. Yet we never think about this stark reality and keep living like robots. The message from of the universe is :

Go Slow.

Do what you Love.

You are not here for eternity.

I request you to kindly read the following life changing speech given by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer, during his Commencement address at Stanford University on June 12, 2005. This is one of the most inspiring and deeply moving speech I ever came acroos in my life.

‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ Jobs says


This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? Continue reading “Life Lessons from Steve Jobs”